FINALLY!!! Your engaged and well into planning mode. You have selected the venue, the ceremony site, your vision and your bridal party. You are set and on a roll. BUT before you can get too excited, reality sets in. Mom, cousin, sister, auntie, soon to be MIL all of a sudden has OPINIONS and SUGGESTIONS…arrrrgh.
I know I know. At first maybe you think it is cute because they are all so excited about the upcoming nuptials but that cuteness wears off very quickly. And before you become labeled as a first class, grade A B*%#! …Bridezilla, and flip out, take a step back and assess the situation. They really mean well, and are not purposely trying to piss you off or add to your stress ( well most of them at least). They truly deep deep deep deep down think they are doing you a favor and helping out. So try to hold back on the yelling, screaming, eye and neck rolling, finger wagging and try another approach. For Instance:
Let’s say you choose pink and lilac as your color scheme but your mom says she thinks yellowish gold would be a nicer color:
What you want to say: (insert neck roll) It is my wedding I’m gonna do what I want and besides gold is too old fashion for me.
What mom wants to hear: Yellowish gold, perfrect. Why didn’t I think of that.
What you should say: Thanks for the suggestion mom but the gold may not work with the vision I have for the ceremony and venue, but I will consider it though.
Or for instance, one of your bridesmaids says she hates the dress you picked out:
What you want to say: (insert finger wave) Look heffa, if you are going to be in my wedding you are going to wear what I want you to wear and that is final.
What she wants to hear: Okay let’s get you a dress that you want.
What you should say: Really, you do not like the dress? I picked this particular dress because it shows off that sexy back of yours and you always look AMAZING in purple. Girl you know no one can work a strapless like you can…heeeeeeey (wink).
Or, let’s say your soon to be MIL has been taking cake decorating classes at Michael’s and insists that she bakes your wedding cake.
What you want to say: (insert eye roll and neck roll combo) Heeeeeeeeeel no, I have seen your baking skills and trust me, you are no Betty Crocker.
What she wants to hear: That would be great!!! Of course you can bake our wedding cake. Thanks Mom.
What you should say:That is such a wonderful offer, but unfortunately I have already paid for the cake and my payment is non-refundable. But you can bake the cake for the rehearsal dinner or Bridal Party brunch.
And what if your fiance suggests having Applebee’s (your favorite neighborhood restaurant) cater your wedding.
What you want to say: Hell No!
What he wants to hear: Sure honey, Great idea.
What you should say: Hell No!!
You see, there is always a bad, good and better way to address these “opinions” and “suggestions”. So before you prepare to extend the finger on the right hand as the left hand is perched on your left hip, and you begin to loosen up that neck of yours, remember they mean well. Most of the time.