One would assume that everyone knows proper wedding etiquette, but judging by some of the sights I have seen lately it is oh so clear to me that some people in desperate need of A Little Bit A’ Schooling. Enter JunePlumm aka me. Since I have frequented weddings (both as a guest and as a professional) and pay attention to EVERYTHING, I will use this post as an opportunity to address some embarrassing behaviors and highlight a few notable points. Sadly enough, I have witnessed them all.
1. Répondez, s’il vous plaît!
There is a reason why you are asked to RSVP. The fabulous couple needs to have an accurate headcount to inform the caterer (you need to eat right); the venue/rental company for seating arrangements ((you need to sit right). Plus, it is a pain in the butt for couples to have to track you down to confirm whether or not you are attending. So if you show up and have no place to sit…blame yourself
2. Didn’t make the cut?
Let’s face it, we are in a recession. So many couples have had to endure the daunting task of trying to decide who to/not to invite to the event. If by some reason you felt that you were close enough to the couple and should have been invited and you were not…SAVE IT. Do not call the couple in a tirade and demand an invite. If you weren’t invited the first time, are you really going to satisfy with a pity invite? It is hard enough on the couple to not include friends that otherwise would have been invited, but now to have to deal with the barrage of inquests…not fun. $85-$135 per plate adds up, don’t you think they had to draw the line somewhere?
3. Dress Code!
Hawaiian casual does NOT mean wrinkled shorts, bikini top and water shoes. Instead, gents opt for a nice linen button down shirt (the colorful the better), skip the tie and slacks. Ladies, an appropriately cute sundress and swanky strappy heels will do the trick.
4. An Open Bar is not an invitation to get DRUNK!
We all can use a drink here and there but an open bar is not an invitation to see how many shots you can take before you pass out. If the couple is gracious enough to provide you with top shelf, please be respectful and not overindulge. Consider your fellow patrons and know your limit. If you have a 5 drink threshold, stop at 3 and make sure you have a designated driver. Arrive Alive
5. An Escort card is there for a reason!
If you are assigned to sit at table 12. Sit at table 12. Do not take this opportunity to re-assign yourself to table 6 because it is closer to the bar. And most of all, DO NOT complain to the couple that you are not happy with where you are seated and you want to sit with cousin Ben at table 6. This is their day to shine and indulge in becoming the new Mr. and Mrs.. It was stressful enough to figure out where to seat you the first time, the last thing they need the day of is to hear you complain about it. Just be glad you made the cut:)…see # 2
6. Do NOT assume your invites includes a plus 1!
If your invite is addressed to Mr/Ms. Doe, then ONLY Mr/Ms. Doe is invited. If the invite is addressed to Mr/Ms. Doe and guest, then by all means invite the significant other familiar with the couple. Not your barber, mechanic or your hairstylist just so you can have a friend at the wedding. This isn’t Gymboree.
7. Keep it to yourself!
If you are close to the couple and they could not stop talking about the super formal and elegant wedding and you show up to a room full of balloons and plastic utensils, try to refrain from discussing your disappointment at the table. If you MUST voice your opinion, do so in the privacy of your own home…better yet save it, it isn’t your wedding. And watch the facial expressions as well. What you don’t say in words can be clearly read in your eyes…Okay, Okay, I must admit I am still working on this one myself…but I have made significant progress:)
8. Attend to your little ones!
Kids are adorable but NOT when they are flinging lettuce at the table. Everyone understands kids will be kids, but please control your little ones so no has to talk about them..and you for not exercising authority.
9. Do me a FAVOR!
If the couple has placed favors at each place setting, or on a favor table. Help yourself to ONE. Do not pick one for every family member that did not attend or for the entire congregation at your church. By you helping yourself to multiple favors, you are therefore depriving others of there own
10. A Handful at Cocktail Hour?
Okay my last one….for today. If you are at a cocktail reception or at cocktail hour, do not help yourself to 5, 6, 7 mini crab cakes (at one time). Help yourself to 1 maybe two at a time. There are options so you can sample a variety of hors d’oeuvres. If you loved it so much, take 1 now, and then another one the next time it is passed around. Consider your the other guests…Please
Stay tuned for more… but until then, try NOT to be one of these Special Guests